First snowfall!!

Here are a few more pictures. We got our first snow of the year this past weekend. I was driving home last night with a lady from church and the roads were really bad. Felt like February or something. So this morning when I woke up, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much it had snowed. I decided to go for a nice, brisk morning walk and took some pictures along the way. There is just something pure and magical about the first snowfall. Isn't there? And I have also attached a picture of my lovely basement room. Since the weather has been colder lately, I have needed to bundle up a little more in my chilly room.

The smell of crazy cake is filling the nooks and crannies of our house right now and I must say, it smells divine. Today has been a nice, cozy Saturday filled with chicken soup, movie time, and hot cocoa.

Reflecting back on this past week: it is amazing to see how one day could be so horrible and the next could be so great. Work keeps me very busy and I feel like I am constantly on the go. I get home from work and then by the time I eat supper and do my daily documentation- it feels like it's time for bed and to start another day! This past week was another busy learning experience. Thursday was not the greatest day I have had. It was filled with frustration and fatigue and I lost my patience many times. One of my assigned participants for the day is a very dominating male and he likes to "play games" with the instructors. His behavior is that of an unruly teenager and much of what he does is for attention. We have a rule at work called keeping line of sight. This means that you should know where your assigned participants are at all times. Leaving buildings, using the restroom alone, etc. are all considered breaking line of sight. So on Thursday, K had a tantrum after lunch and decided to walk off. I repeatedly called his name, asking him to come back so we could leave to go bowling. On top of that, my other participant was urgently signing to me that he needed to use the bathroom. And I had to keep an eye on 2 other participants. So my hands were full. Luckily, my co-workers jumped in and one ran off to speak with K- who at this point was out of my sight and nearing a busy highway. We eventually got K to come back but he still wouldn't get into the vehicle. This went on for 10 minutes. Finally, his ultimatum was either coming with us or calling his house and having someone pick him up. He finally got in the vehicle. I had to set some guidelines with him before we entered the bowling alley. He agreed to them but then once inside he decided not to bowl. An hour later he was wandering off and running up and down the bowling alley, kicking arcade games along the way. We called someone to come pick him up, but then he wouldn't leave the bowling alley. Anyways...long story here- but it was a very long, crazy day. K needs to continue to learn the reinforcement behind consequences and has some anger issues to deal with. And I am learning how to keep my cool in situations, as well as leaning on others to help me. I could not have got through the day without my co-workers. They were so supportive.

Fast forward to Friday- the total opposite of Thursday. Fridays are field trip days for the adult participants. We went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. It was lot of fun to explore with the participants and check out exhibits on dinosaurs, space. wildlife, etc. Friday it felt like I finally clicked with co-workers and participants. It felt like I was finally "myself" and it was amazing to see how much other people opened up when that happened!! Then to top off the good day at work- I went to a ladies night with some women from church. We went to a woman's house from church and we had an awesome tea, clothing exchange, fondue, hot tub (in the cold) party! It was so relaxing and very nice to have a night filled with feminine conversation :) So that topped off the end of my week.

This past Sunday at church the sermon was on Job and questioning why God lets bad things happen to good people. The sermon was given by a man getting his PhD in theology and pop culture. He had some good insight and questions about the story of Job- plus some personal experience. Some things to think about when reading that story are: when you have time off- take time off; listen to your inner voice; and look at the bigger picture, looking beyond what the world sees. God does not send pain to test our faith and He doesn't make bad things happen because we are bad. It is often easy to question: Where was God when...? We put blame on things, other people, and even God. But we need to remember God's response in the story of Job. According to the preacher, God gives not a moral, but poetic answer to Job. A basic "Stop whining and enjoy yourself for awhile". Those people who have been open to God and seen the beauty and mystery of His creation and love- can testify. We can begin to understand that because of our love for others, ourselves, and God - that is why we keep believing despite the pain, hardship, and inequality of life. Bad things happen so that God's love can be shown.

Peace-

Lindsey

P.S.

Sorry about the "Say- Instead of" column. It didn't post like it should have. But hopefully it still makes sense.

God is in control

Dear God,

I so much want to be in control. I want to be the master of my own destiny. Still I know that you are saying:

"Let me take you by the hand and lead you. Accept my love and trust that where I will bring you, the deepest desires of your heart will be fulfilled."

Lord, open my hands to receive your gifts of love. Amen.

(From Henri Nouwen)

I wrote the previous text in my journal just a week before leaving for Colorado. I think they are words that will always speak true for all us. I need to learn that while I am capable of making my own decisions and living my life: I am not in control and God has an ultimate will and destiny for me in the end. I can't always be in control and I can't always be strong. I can let people help me. I can be vulnerable. I can allow God to lead me and be faithful in Him.

This past week of work went well. Just as I was getting comfortable with the participants I was working with for the month of September; the new month rolled around and now I am learning to know other people. There have been challenges in that I still don't know everyone's needs or their little "ticks" or all the tricks to fixing problems. So there were several times this week when something happened with a participant and since I didn't know what was going on- I responded differently than I may have needed to. Co-workers later informed me and I was thinking "Geez, thanks for letting me know now." But this comes with the learning curve and I just have to learn to be flexible and work the best I know how.

I still don't feel 100% comfortable with my participants or co-workers. Everyday I feel stretched out of my comfort zone and have to continue to be out-going and positive. But everyone has been so helpful and have shared so much of their experiences with me, that I am starting to feel a nice fit in the workplace. I recently fulfilled many online trainings for my job and found a lot of the information interesting. I thought I would share a little with you.

Language has a huge impact on how we relate to others and what we are trying to convey. Often times people who have life challenges (mental, physical, social) are labeled or stereotyped. The first thing to think about is to think "person first". So what is the proper what to speak to or about someone who has a disability? Remember that children or adults with disabilities are like everyone else- except they happen to have a disability. So here are a few tips for improving our language related to disabilities:

- Speak of the person first, then the disability

-Emphasize abilities, not limitations

-Do no label people as part of a disability group-- don't say "disabled", say people with disabilities

-Don't give excessive praise or attention to a person with a disability- don't patronize them

-Choice and independence are very important; let the person speak for him/herself as much as possible

-A disability is a functional limitation that interferes with a person's ability to walk, hear, talk, learn, etc. Use "handicap" to describe a situation or barrier imposed by society, the environment, or oneself (ie: the person with the disability is handicapped by the inaccessible building)

Say: Instead of:

Person with a disability Disabled or handicapped person

Person with cerebral palsy Palsied, or CP, or spastic

Person who has... Afflicted, suffers from, victim

Without speech, nonverbal Mute, or dumb

Developmental delay Slow

Emotional disorder or mental Crazy or insane

illness

Person who is deaf or hard of Deaf of dumb

hearing

"For more than 30 years, states across the U.S. have been developing more person-centered, individualized, and community-based lives for people with developmental disabilities and people with mental illness." Thearclink.org

I can continue to post more information like this if you would like; just let me know. I think the best way to make change and a difference in our communities, is to be aware and have the resources and knowledge.

Things at the house continue to go well. The support committee finally made an appearance this week at our house. So we had a nice meal and ironed out some details of house living, etc. I am in charge of the finances (so excited!) - which are currently in shambles. So I have been working at fixing the checkbook and getting things in order. Living with the guys has been good. There are still awkward times or silences, but for the most part, I can't complain. I would say I get along best with Sam, who is more talkative and easy to get along with. I still struggle in relating to Aaron, who is quiet. And I'm pretty sure he is just really shy around all girls, not just me. Last night we went out to a Pupuseria restaurant and then decided to go Middle Eastern and smoke some hookah. It was a nice night.

Can't think of too much else. I would love to hear from you guys and hear updates on your lives. I'm sorry I haven't really been emailing- I guess I've been kinda lazy on that front. But I am still interested in what is going on else where.

And from Hebrews 13:15-16

"Therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise- the fruit of lips that confess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Peace to all,

L

Blessings

Every day while I wait for the bus to come in the morning, there’s a man standing at the corner of the street. He holds a cardboard sign with something written on it. People at the stoplight sometimes hand cash through their windows. I don’t know what his sign says, but every time I see him, I think to myself: I am blessed. But yet I also think to myself: what is his story? What does your sign say? Why are you standing on the corner every morning? Everyone has a story, a reason for doing what they do. And yet I really doubt that anyone has stopped to ask that man how he’s doing or if he’s okay. And maybe he is…but shouldn’t he feel blessed too?

So what does blessed me for me this week?

It means…

-interacting with people at work who make me smile and laugh….a lot

-getting a taste of crisp fall weather mixed with some warm sunshine

-having fun at the bowling alley

-painting pottery and picking raspberries

-feeling appreciated when someone lights up when they see you

-seeing God in those people around you and in His beautiful creation

This past week was good. I worked mostly day shifts in the adult program this week and I think I like working with the adults the best so far. They have a lower energy level than the kids and for some reason I just like working with them better. Which is surprising since I have wanted to work with kids since I was in high school, but that’s what experiencing new things is all about right? Finding different passions and discovering new realities. This job is so out of the ordinary and it encompasses so much. I met with one of the therapeutic staff earlier this week and it was great to get a glimpse of the work that is beyond all the “fun”. Each participant has a treatment plan, which is implemented in order to set goals and expectations, as well as make changes in the person’s behavior, etc. Each person is unique and has different needs that are catered to by the staff. Throughout the day, staff pay close attention to their assigned participant’s initiation of conversation, eye contact, involvement, and fulfillment of expectations that have been set. This is what is later documented on for funding purposes. Funding is whole different bowl of cherries. There are a lot of stipulations that come with Medicare and Comprehensive Services, as well as maintaining child licensure and HIPAA codes. But I won’t bore you with the details of that.

Sometime it feels like I’m not really using all my Social Work skills, but then I realize that I probably am without noticing it. I am constantly using interpersonal skills as well as meeting people where they are. If you don’t meet someone at their level, you’ll never be able to fully help them. You also have to use creativity in how you approach a situation and I am constantly using positive thinking and motivation to get others and myself through the day. The job definitely is teaching me a good dose of patience. Most of the activities involve the participants doing and the instructors helping. So that requires waiting, driving, waiting, instructing, changing, waiting- you get the point. The job also requires putting yourself out there. There is no time to be selfish- it’s about others.

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is: what would I be like if I wasn’t a Christian? Because at work I am constantly asked what a Mennonite is and our beliefs. And it gets me thinking about the salvation of my co-workers and the lives they lead. I’ve grown up semi-sheltered in that I’ve never really had friends who weren’t Christian or Mennonite. I went to a private, Christian high school and then a small Mennonite college. We tend to gravitate towards people who are like us, so I guess that’s what my problem is. I need to branch out a little more and understand others. But I’ve been thinking about what makes me different or how do I stand out from my co-workers? How am I being Christ-like? What are my actions or words? Lord, let me be a light. Let my thoughts, deeds, and words reflect your perfect love, patience, and kindness. I hope that people are able to see you through me and I can perhaps make a small difference in their lives.

Romans 8:10

But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

*His Spirit lives in me and will emulate into other areas of my life*

Pictorals

A view from the camp where church retreat was

The "backyard"= the Flatirons (a chain of 5 mountain faces near Boulder)

The front of our house

A street performer at Pearl St. mall

Friday was kinda a frustrating day at work. It felt like I was running after my participant or asking him to do things and going unheard And then I was given another participant in the afternoon and felt the exact same way. Like I was unheard. Plus I feel like I’m already getting fed up with the commute to work. It takes so much time and it’s tiring. I wanna stick it out for awhile…just to see if it gets better. And I'm not sure how I feel about the weekend work shifts. Today wasn't bad since the participants are low maintenance- but it's still the concept of working on a Saturday that gets me. I feel like it cuts into community living and my personal life. But I like to give things a fair chance and want to have an open mind. Maybe it won't be that bad. We shall see. (famous last words)

It has been interesting to "start over" here in Boulder. I had an awesome group of friends in college and in my home area, so to come here with none of that network- has been challenging. I’m such a social person that it’s difficult to start over and not really have any friends. Co-workers are really nice and fun- but definitely not friend level yet. My key word this week has been: TIME. Just like a wound needs time to heal or a broken heart- that is what I need right now. Time. Makes me think of the Rolling Stones song “Time is on my side”. The lyrics don’t really pertain, but eh.

So now I have a few days off work before back to the grind. This past week of work was good. I am still getting to know the participants and their level of needs- as well as getting to know my co-workers. It has been interesting working with participants who aren't verbal. At times it feels like I am talking to myself, but I realize the importance of treating them like any other person and I believe that many of them do understand what you are saying and have some way of communicating with you- it just may not be the perceived "normal" way. It is amazing how natural it feels to hold conversations with the participants. They are easy to talk to and many are very social and personable. Being out in the community- I do feel stares from others, watching our group. I think most of them are curious glances and I would like to think that they find our outings (work) to be meaningful and important. Because I know that's how Out and About sees it. Today when we went to pay for our two bowling lanes, we discovered that someone at the bowling alley had covered our cost. I was pleasantly surprised and it felt like someone understood.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. -Henry David Thoreau-

The first week of work was a bit overwhelming. Between all the information that has been thrown at me, to all the names of participants I have to learn, to all the directions to various schools, venues : there is a lot to take on. But I am up to the challenge.

I have had opportunity to meet and work with the participants and other workers and I think that I am really going to like the work. I think the most challenging part of work will be being open and pushing myself out of my comfort zone, so that the participants feel safe and comfortable. I have a lot to learn in terms of doing lifts, changing diapers, understanding their likes and dislikes- but this will come in time with the training and involvement.

The other workers explain to me how "Sally" needs diapers changed or "Bill" has seizures on a regular basis- as if this is just normal for me to witness and take care of. But I am slowly discovering that indeed that is one of the main purposes of Out and About. To make participants feel that they are a part of a community that desires to integrate them and grant them social interaction while promoting their strengths. If you treat people with respect and they in turn can feel empowered (despite their social, physical, or mental limitations) you can’t help but notice how they really aren’t that different.

My daily work as a Recreation Instructor varies, but I will give an overview of what I am to do. Every other day I will divide my work between the day program (that works with adults) and the after-school program with the kiddios. Let’s say I am working in the day program. I go into the office and pick up a vehicle for transportation. Then I would pick up anywhere from 1-4 participants and take them to activity for the day, which could include bowling, swimming, field trips, etc. At that activity we would meet up with other participants and instructors. Then I would be responsible for taking my participants home or to an allotted base site. So the job description requires me knowing my way around the Boulder area and the surrounding counties (which I don’t….so that is the fun part). And it also requires a lot of independence and motivation because while I am surrounded by other workers; I am still solely responsible for my participants and their needs. So far I have gone swimming with the after-school program, bowled and swam with the adults, participated in rhythm and movement with kids, and also attended an Irish/Scottish festival in Estes Park.

This weekend I have been contemplating on my time here thus far and I think the best phrase that sums it up is that this feels like a “God-thing”. I have been amazed at the friendliness and openness of the Out and About staff and how real they are. Paid positions at the agency aren’t really that great of income- so to see all these young adults working full-time for little money, while enjoying what they are doing- has been a blessing. They are passionate about the relationships they have with participants and it definitely shows. And the church community is so welcoming and loving. We had a church retreat up at Glacier View Ranch and it was a great time of playing games and getting to know some of the members. I had the opportunity to talk with several members about their experiences in the Middle East and that was a joy. Plus it snowed and hailed on the ride up there, so that was fun to experience in September!

I definitely feel God’s presence in this place and am reminded daily of His beautiful creation and amazing grace. I don't have to be here right now- could be making money somewhere. But honestly, I don't think I would want to be anywhere but here. Such a great, life-giving experience ahead and I am so glad that I have felt called by God to embark on this adventure. Many people at work have asked me what I'll be doing for a year or who the Mennonites are- and it's refreshing to tell them. All seem pleasantly surprised to know I will be volunteering for a whole year.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character, hope. Romans 5:1-4

Here, at last

Well today was my second full day in the great state of Colorado. And I must say, from my first impressions...it does seem great.

My flight on Wednesday went smoothly with only a small detour around Denver because of smoke billowing in from California. But I still made it on time. A woman from the church picked me up and we had good conversation on the ride back to Boulder. And after rising a hill on the interstate, I was able to get my first awesome glimpse of the mountains in all their splendor. That is an amazing view. You should all come visit just so I can drive you back from the airport just to see that view :)

Wednesday evening I met one of the current MVSers (Kara- who will be here until Sunday) and we ate a late supper at a sub shop filled with college students. It felt oddly familiar to be surrounded by college students again. Thursday I went with Kara to run some errands. Let's just say it was an interesting experience because we took the unit car (which is a really old Honda Civic and I might add probably the filthy-est car I have ever been in--thanks mom for raising me to be a clean freak). The car is standard (shoot I have some learning to do!) and Kara hadn't driven it that much and her last drive in it was months ago. So it was "little" jerky..haha...but I was empathetic because I can't drive stick so I rolled with it. We went to the bank, library, and grocery store which are all within walking/biking distance from the house.

The house: is very nice. It's in a residential court, mostly with elderly- but not sure. Right off the highway so I hear traffic all the time. But also a view of the Flat Iron mountain range. Beautiful! There is a hiking/walking/biking trail 100 yards from our house and we have access to the court pool. I decided to take the basement room of the house since I have access to my own bathroom and the hot tub (just kidding). A guy previously lived in the room so Thursday afternoon I spent cleaning the room and bathroom. Maybe my standards are high- but it doesn't seem people really take care of things. Supposedly the house WAS in really bad condition right before I got here, but the support committee and Kara cleaned it majorly before my arrival. Thanks to them I suppose I have less work to do. I have already vacuumed out the car and cleaned up the outdoor deck area. And there is a really sorry looking plot for the garden, which is currently filled with lambsquarter and crab apples. So I will probably clean that up sometime and figure out when the prime growing season is. It would be nice to plant some vegetables or flowers there. We shall see.

Tomorrow I am hoping to do some more exploring since I am settled in for now. I would like to see the Pearl St. Mall downtown and figure out my bus route to my job. It seems pretty straight forward but since I am a "country girl" and not used to city transportation- I would like to test it out before starting work on Tuesday.

My one room mate, Sam will be arriving late tonight from orientation- I am ready to finally meet him. As I said, Kara moves out on Sunday- and now Josh (also from the previous year) has moved back to the area and is crashing at the house for who knows how long. Should be interesting... Oh and also is has been a God-send to have Kara here for my first few days. We have had some great talks about the house, MVS living, her experiences, etc. So that has been great- plus it's nice to have a girl around for a little bit before I'm the only female.

I will leave you with a Bible verse that a friend left me with:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Romans 12:9-13

Peace-