So what has happened in the last month? Well what hasn't happened?!
-Went to a young adult snow camp at Rocky Mountain Mennonite camp- It was such a nice weekend. It was really nice to get away from "regular" life and spend some time out in nature. I met some really great people, both local and far away. We had some small group time to discuss the theme for the week "Rituals, traditions, and symbols". It was an interesting theme- but created for some good discussion. There was time for relaxing and playing games, as well as outdoor activities. Saturday was hiking or snowshoeing, tubing, and then a broomball tournament (my team won!!). I came home in a relaxed state, but also extremely sore from all that exercise!! :)
-My two close friends from high school and college (Jenna and Mary) came to visit me for a week. What a splendid time we had. I took off three days from work and we explored downtown Boulder, went to Rocky Mountain National Park, and did an extreme hike on Friday. Let's just say we weren't quite prepared for the conditions and the last hour is straight up and it was complete snow and ice. Not exactly easy when you don't have waterproof gloves or any gloves at all for that matter OR hiking boots! It was at times frustrating and at some points I wanted to give up, but oh my...the view was well worth the struggle. What a spectacular view it was!! It was soo nice to have quality, close friends visit. It felt like my two worlds were finally colliding (when I went home for Christmas and told people about Boulder, it felt like a dream and like that part of my life wasn't real to everyone else) But now that people are beginning to visit me, it is becoming more real. That I do have a life out here in a new place. Having Jenna and Mary leave was also kinda hard. It made me realize how I don't have close, quality friendships out here and I really felt that void after they had left. That has been an ongoing struggle for me this year and has definitely made me appreciate those wonderful friendships I do have. This has been a stretching experience for me and am learning to be very independent and at some times, lonely.
-Work has continued to be busy and at times stressful. They have hired some new staff, so that will be nice to fill in some of the missing gaps in our programming. I am continuing to strengthen my relationships with participants and am learning to work with people that haven't worked with before. This has been a bit challenging. It feels like I'm starting all over in some ways. For example, for the month of March I have been working with a participant who requires full support while on shift and there are a lot of little "tricks" to learn in order to work with him. He utilizes a wheelchair, self-gags, grabs hair, bites, the list goes on. So I've been briefed on what country stations he enjoys, to sing to him because he loves music, how to release his grasp should he grab, etc. He has already bitten me twice. And it frustrates me, but not because it hurts or anything. But because it feels like I'm failing with him. Like I'm not doing something right. Not picking up when he's fed up and we should take a break. I feel like it's my own fault for getting bit. This past Tuesday he clamped down hard and broke skin, causing me to bleed. According to protocol and worker's comp, I was required to go to urgent care to get a blood path test. They didn't give me a test, wasted an hour and half of my time, and gave me a band-aid. And then because I'm a volunteer, worker's comp doesn't cover the bill- so now Out and About has to pay for it or my house fund. Just a mess.
-The house: well I know some of you know of my struggles in my housing situation. Basically- it has been a challenge to live with two guys that I didn't previously know. I don't feel the community setting that I was hoping for, coming in. Nights exist of eating a meal together and then everyone going their separate ways, typically to rooms. That's not what I signed up for. I'll have an occasional good conversation with my one housemate, but they are few and far between. And my one housemate is very hard to get along with- so that has been frustrating. It is amazing how one person can affect so much- but I am seeing the ripple effects and it is breaking my experience in the house. I have decided for several reasons- that I will not be serving another year in MVS. Some of it has to do with the housing/community feel, some to do with my social network/support system. I have been contemplating what to do next or where to go. I haven't made a decision and am relying on God to lead me and open windows to the future. Thoughts and prayers would be appreciated as I discern. I really enjoy this state and all it's beauty--but if you don't have people you enjoy to share it with...what good is it?
I think that pretty much brings you up-to-date on my life. I could also use some prayer for my health. I have been sick since the beginning of January and haven't been able to fully recover. I am going to the doctor on Monday and hope that I can finally kick whatever has been bothering me. Sometimes I think we take our good health for granted.
Yesterdays devotional for Lent talked about Jesus' ministry and his radical approach to teaching.
"He broke the law, where rules had become more important than people. He lived an upside-down understanding of human worth. Jesus messed with the order of the day, as he touched the unclean, ate with sinners, and claimed authority to heal and forgive.....To learn from Jesus means that we will live truths that are uncomfortable for many, and risk our own comfort for the justice and wholeness of others." -- just something to think about...
Blessings to each of you. May you feel the warmth of God's love in this coming week.
Lindsey
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